• Healing takes many forms – Repainting, rearranging, or repurposing a room can be a powerful way to reclaim control after tragedy

• Support beyond the cleanup – For those facing the aftermath alone, compassionate guidance can make the next step feel possible

When a Room Holds Too Much Pain: Coping After a Traumatic Event

Most people think of their home as a place of comfort, a personal sanctuary where they can feel safe. But for some, home becomes the site of unimaginable tragedy. When that happens, the hardest part isn’t just the cleanup—it’s figuring out how to move forward in a space that no longer feels like home.

Over the years, I’ve seen people handle trauma in different ways. Some sell their homes immediately, unable to stay in a place that holds such painful memories. Others try to reclaim the space, repainting, redecorating, even using the room for something new. But one story has always stuck with me—a woman who chose another path entirely.

The Room That No Longer Existed

Her husband had taken his own life in their master bedroom. After the initial shock, she did what so many families do—she called a professional team to remediate the scene. We had cleaned the room, removed anything contaminated, and ensured the space was safe again. But no amount of cleaning could erase what had happened there.

She couldn’t bring herself to use the room again. His absence was louder than words, heavier than the air itself. The walls had been scrubbed, the floors cleaned, every trace of what had happened meticulously removed. But it didn’t matter.

Because when she looked at that space, all she could see was red.

Even though the stains were gone, they lingered in her mind, seared into memory. The bed, the floor, the walls—it was all clean now, yet it would never be clean. It would never be just a bedroom again. It would always be that room. A space frozen in the worst moment of her life.

And when she was alone in there, the silence became unbearable. It was as if she could feel the weight of his final moments—the loneliness that settled in before he made his decision. It clung to the air, pressing against her chest, making it hard to breathe. She tried to shake it, to remind herself that time had moved forward. But in that room, time had stopped.

So she did the only thing she could. She sealed the door, erased its existence. Because if she couldn’t change what happened inside, she could at least make sure she never had to see it again.

She didn’t just lock the door. She hired a contractor to physically remove the doorway, take down the trim, and seal off the entrance. When she walked down the hallway, it was as if the master bedroom had never existed. The door was gone, replaced by a smooth, painted wall.

When Moving Isn’t an Option

I asked her if she ever planned to open the room again. She told me, “If I ever get to a point where I can financially move, I might have the door put back in before I leave. But until then, I can’t face it.”

Some people can’t afford to leave their homes after a tragedy. Others don’t want to leave, but they also don’t want to relive the event every time they walk past a certain room. So they find their own way to cope—by changing the space, reshaping it into something they can live with.

I’ve seen families turn trauma sites into storage rooms, home offices, or even guest rooms, intentionally making them look and feel different. A fresh coat of paint, new flooring, different furniture arrangement—sometimes small changes help. Other times, they aren’t enough.

The Psychological Impact of Space

When I talk to families, I always tell them: If you have to keep the space, don’t leave it exactly as it was. Move the furniture, change the colors, do anything that keeps you from seeing it the same way. Because trauma is sneaky. If a space looks the same, your mind will keep going back to the moment you want to forget.

For many, the idea of sleeping in a room where a loved one died is unbearable. Some never step foot inside again. Others try, only to find that the weight of memory is too much to carry. And that’s okay. There’s no right or wrong way to process grief. What matters is that you find a way to live with it.

We Do More Than Clean—We Help Families Move Forward

Our work isn’t just about removing what’s left behind. It’s about giving people a path forward. Whether that means offering guidance on repainting and remodeling or simply being there to listen, we understand that healing doesn’t end when the scene is clean.

Some wounds are visible. Others are hidden behind sealed doors and painted-over walls.

Whatever path you choose, know that you don’t have to go through it alone.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the aftermath of a traumatic event, we’re here to help.